Unquestionably, [for] the allies of Allah there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve [Surah Yunus Verse 62]
When did you first know that your anxiety was a problem?
In high school, I'd wake up basically every morning with this burning feeling in my stomach and not wanting to go. I'd want to fake sick, I'd want to miss the bus, I'd want to just sit alone and not go. I knew that wasn't normal but I wasn't able to put a name to it until college.
Tell me what anxiety feels like.
It feels like this weight on your chest. I don't know how to describe it. Everything starts racing, your heart, your thoughts, your breathing gets faster. You get hotter too, it feels like the hot tightness in your chest and stomach. Sometimes a little bit is good for you. The problem is when it gets to be so much that it becomes debilitating and in your mind, everything can go wrong.
How bad does it get for you?
It can get pretty bad... like something as simple as looking at a picture or a clipping in my scrapbook from the past can induce anxiety. Alhamdulillah, I've never had a full blown panic attack where I had to go to the hospital. But, I've had break downs quite a few times. You know that phrase "the straw that breaks the camel's back?". I feel like the camel's back is always breaking. The worst thing is when it happens around people and you wonder if they think less of you. They wouldn't admit it but you wonder if they're thinking "suck it up, we all have it bad." You can't control the back breaking... I know I keep speaking in this metaphor but this is the best way I can explain it. You can't just suck it up, I guess your threshold is not as high as others.
How do you deal with your anxiety?
Not in a healthy way, definitely. I have trichotollomania. Not many people know what that is, I think. Trich is an impulse disorder where you pull your hair out. Whenever I try to explain this to people, usually they say "why don't you just stop." It's an addiction... you can't just stop. When I get anxious, that's when it gets the worst. I'll have piles and piles of my hair on my desk and not even realize it. I've had it for years... it's been my coping mechanism for so long and it sucks but it's what helps me manage the anxiety.
Talk to me about how your faith plays into your anxiety.
You know how I mentioned earlier how when you're really really anxious, you feel like everything can go wrong? I think it plays into that factor. I guess what I'm trying to say is faith doesn't cure anxiety. Anxiety, when it gets to a certain point becomes like an illness and in some cases can actually be diagnosed as a mental disorder. So just like faith can't cure a cold, it can't make anxiety go away completely, at least not in this world. That's not realistic. But, it helps me to cope. And sometimes I find solace in this. I heard a Muslim scholar saying that the most common component of jannah described in the Quran is that there won't be grief or sorrow. It's like Allah knows how much we'll struggle psychologically in the dunya and so, He tells us that we'll be freed from that in Jannah. It's just a good reminder to have now and then.
There's this duaa I learned that I say a lot and it helps bring me back down to earth . I'll tell it to you later and maybe you can include it with the reference.
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
The Prophet (ﷺ) used to say, "O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men." (Bukhari)
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ ".
What advice do you have to Muslims suffering from debilitating anxiety?
I wanna be careful about what I say because I'm obviously not a psychologist or anything like that. But first, I feel like the first thing to come to terms with is understanding anxiety is a test from Allah. It really is. Sometimes we want it to go away and never ever be a problem but that's not how a test works. And when we put that into perspective, it becomes a little easier to cope. Second, if your anxiety is extraordinary debilitating, and you'll know this, seek professional help. I don't have it this bad but if you can't get out of bed because of your anxiety or like, you're having panic attacks, that's not safe. Don't feel ashamed or afraid, there are people whose jobs are to help you get through this test.
Next, be open and honest with people who you love and love you. Sometimes it really, really sucks when people downplay your struggle. If your anxiety is being belittled, be honest with that person. It's hard enough to fight this alone. And last, constant duaa and seeking help from Allah. Like I said, it's a test, it's not gonna go away. But you're not gonna be able to cope without Allah. We have to get comfortable with our vulnerability and use what we know from our faith as one tool to help us through this challenge.
Can you think of any community resources/projects/initiatives that would be helpful when it comes to this issue?
If we can encourage conversations with our youth directors or mentors to happen with youth about anxiety... not just generalized anxiety but specifically about anxiety relating to topics like going to college or getting older or whatever it might be, I think that's a start. If we can get comfortable with that vulnerability, it'll be a step in the right direction. We need to get comfortable with it as a community is what I mean. It's great to have professionals speak about anxiety as well and coping mechanisms, like not necessarily Muslim scholars but psychologists and therapists and people who've studied this and are familiar with the research done on this topic.
END NOTE:
Please take this moment to make duaa for our stranger who shared her struggle with us to learn and grow from.
Feel free to share, like and comment. If you'd like to be interviewed, email me through the contact form linked at the top of the website.
H.Al
When did you first know that your anxiety was a problem?
In high school, I'd wake up basically every morning with this burning feeling in my stomach and not wanting to go. I'd want to fake sick, I'd want to miss the bus, I'd want to just sit alone and not go. I knew that wasn't normal but I wasn't able to put a name to it until college.
Tell me what anxiety feels like.
It feels like this weight on your chest. I don't know how to describe it. Everything starts racing, your heart, your thoughts, your breathing gets faster. You get hotter too, it feels like the hot tightness in your chest and stomach. Sometimes a little bit is good for you. The problem is when it gets to be so much that it becomes debilitating and in your mind, everything can go wrong.
How bad does it get for you?
It can get pretty bad... like something as simple as looking at a picture or a clipping in my scrapbook from the past can induce anxiety. Alhamdulillah, I've never had a full blown panic attack where I had to go to the hospital. But, I've had break downs quite a few times. You know that phrase "the straw that breaks the camel's back?". I feel like the camel's back is always breaking. The worst thing is when it happens around people and you wonder if they think less of you. They wouldn't admit it but you wonder if they're thinking "suck it up, we all have it bad." You can't control the back breaking... I know I keep speaking in this metaphor but this is the best way I can explain it. You can't just suck it up, I guess your threshold is not as high as others.
How do you deal with your anxiety?
Not in a healthy way, definitely. I have trichotollomania. Not many people know what that is, I think. Trich is an impulse disorder where you pull your hair out. Whenever I try to explain this to people, usually they say "why don't you just stop." It's an addiction... you can't just stop. When I get anxious, that's when it gets the worst. I'll have piles and piles of my hair on my desk and not even realize it. I've had it for years... it's been my coping mechanism for so long and it sucks but it's what helps me manage the anxiety.
Talk to me about how your faith plays into your anxiety.
You know how I mentioned earlier how when you're really really anxious, you feel like everything can go wrong? I think it plays into that factor. I guess what I'm trying to say is faith doesn't cure anxiety. Anxiety, when it gets to a certain point becomes like an illness and in some cases can actually be diagnosed as a mental disorder. So just like faith can't cure a cold, it can't make anxiety go away completely, at least not in this world. That's not realistic. But, it helps me to cope. And sometimes I find solace in this. I heard a Muslim scholar saying that the most common component of jannah described in the Quran is that there won't be grief or sorrow. It's like Allah knows how much we'll struggle psychologically in the dunya and so, He tells us that we'll be freed from that in Jannah. It's just a good reminder to have now and then.
There's this duaa I learned that I say a lot and it helps bring me back down to earth . I'll tell it to you later and maybe you can include it with the reference.
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
The Prophet (ﷺ) used to say, "O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men." (Bukhari)
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ ".
What advice do you have to Muslims suffering from debilitating anxiety?
I wanna be careful about what I say because I'm obviously not a psychologist or anything like that. But first, I feel like the first thing to come to terms with is understanding anxiety is a test from Allah. It really is. Sometimes we want it to go away and never ever be a problem but that's not how a test works. And when we put that into perspective, it becomes a little easier to cope. Second, if your anxiety is extraordinary debilitating, and you'll know this, seek professional help. I don't have it this bad but if you can't get out of bed because of your anxiety or like, you're having panic attacks, that's not safe. Don't feel ashamed or afraid, there are people whose jobs are to help you get through this test.
Next, be open and honest with people who you love and love you. Sometimes it really, really sucks when people downplay your struggle. If your anxiety is being belittled, be honest with that person. It's hard enough to fight this alone. And last, constant duaa and seeking help from Allah. Like I said, it's a test, it's not gonna go away. But you're not gonna be able to cope without Allah. We have to get comfortable with our vulnerability and use what we know from our faith as one tool to help us through this challenge.
Can you think of any community resources/projects/initiatives that would be helpful when it comes to this issue?
If we can encourage conversations with our youth directors or mentors to happen with youth about anxiety... not just generalized anxiety but specifically about anxiety relating to topics like going to college or getting older or whatever it might be, I think that's a start. If we can get comfortable with that vulnerability, it'll be a step in the right direction. We need to get comfortable with it as a community is what I mean. It's great to have professionals speak about anxiety as well and coping mechanisms, like not necessarily Muslim scholars but psychologists and therapists and people who've studied this and are familiar with the research done on this topic.
END NOTE:
Please take this moment to make duaa for our stranger who shared her struggle with us to learn and grow from.
Feel free to share, like and comment. If you'd like to be interviewed, email me through the contact form linked at the top of the website.
H.Al