Well, Allah must really love the person requesting the topic because not long after, what was written for me was a test to give me the experience needed to write this blog. So here we go.
1.) You are not born patient. It’s a process.
“Verily, patience is at the first strike [of calamity].” These words of prophet Muhammad (SAW) hold immeasurable wisdom. When calamity strikes, naturally, the body’s first reaction is to abort mission and freak out. You lose control; we call this fight or flight. And yet, Muhammad (SAW) is telling us that patience should begin when first faced with hardship. But this is counterintuitive to what naturally occurs. The only explanation is that the prophet SAW is not saying HAVE patience. He is saying to practice it.
Patience is a process and a skill to be practiced. It is a shift in one’s thinking. It becomes easier when we tackle the sources of stress before they reach us and we apply understanding (which will be explained later on). All in all, remember that patience is not something you have, it is something you do. And when I say it is a process, I mean you must constantly work at it. There may be days where you feel you’re bearing your burden with great patience and the world is on your side, just to be followed by a day where everything comes crashing down. It doesn’t mean all the work you did prior was for naught. It only means you have to put in a bit more work today and move forward in your journey.
2.) Patience doesn’t mean you have to extinguish emotion.
Perhaps the greatest misconception is that being patient is equal to not feeling sadness or stress about your situation. Not true. Ayyub (AS) is a prophet memorialized by his patience. And yet, he said: “Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.”
Notice, he didn’t negate his feelings; he gave them their due right. He acknowledged his distress. But what he did next is what makes the greatest difference. What he did next was remember Allah’s promise and qualities (explained in 3rd point). If your situation is making you feel confused, scared, hopeless, angry, depressed, then say it. It’s okay. Your feelings derive from the heart, they are your truth, so don’t suppress them. Work through them. And here is how.
3) Remember God’s promise.
This is the story time portion of the blog post! I was reminded of this lesson in a way that only reestablishes that the Quran is divine in nature. Throughout my personal situation, I’d been praying and spending more time in supplication. It was morning time and I wanted to pray, so I decided to pray salah Dhuha (if you’re not familiar, please click here for more information). And in this prayer, I decided I’d read… you guessed it, surat Dhuha. So before beginning salah, I read it in my head. Unsure about a particular verse, I opened the mus-haf (physical book of Quran) and read it from there. Now confident in my recitation, I started my salah and began to recite. I immediately broke into tears. It took me three times of reciting this surah to realize why Allah destined for me to experience these verses at this time in my life.
To give some background, this chapter of the Quran was revealed to the prophet (SAW) after there was a pause in his receiving revelation. The pagans of Mecca began ridiculing Muhammad and taunting him, saying Allah had forsaken him and was displeased with him. At this time, the prophet had to exercise patience, knowing Allah reveals verses when He knows it’s best. When the verses finally descended, it revealed Allah’s promise, not just to the prophet, but to humanity as a whole. Allah makes two oaths in this short chapter and reminds the prophet that He has not forsaken him nor was He displeased with him. Allah rebuilds Muhammad’s confidence. He shows the love He has for His prophet and reminds Muhammad (saw) of how He’s given him protection, guidance and sustenance.
The same applies to us. No matter how terrible the situation, and although it may hard and in some instances, impossible, to understand, Allah hasn’t forsaken us. This is His promise, and to His promise, Allah is always true. Going back to point number one, patience is a process of remembering Allah’s promises to us. And there’s no greater reminder than going through the Quran, humanity’s guide for eternity, and studying the plight of others in our past.
4.) Patience looks different for different people.
We are unique beings and so is how we handle unique situations. So don’t let your perception of how others are dealing with life get you down. Patience for Ayyub (as) looked different than for Yunus (as) than for Hajar (ra) than for Sumayah (ra) than for Aisha (ra). Patience is relative and your journey is your own.
5) Submission is key.
Sometimes the greatest lesson in having patience is Allah holds all power, and just as our name explains, we Muslims must submit. Allah holds certain variables in only His hands to remind us that He is the only One we can turn to. This isn’t to spite you, it’s to humble you.
6) If you didn’t change your behavior, you weren’t doing something right.
Let’s revisit the final verses of surah thuha. After recalling the favors Allah has given to Muhammad saw, Allah states:
Verse 9. “Therefore treat not the orphans with harshness,"
Verse 10. “And for the one who asks, repulse not,"
Verse 11. “And as for the Bounties of your Lord, do proclaim (it).”
Notice the “therefore”? There is a direct relationship between remembering Allah’s promise in patience and bringing positivity and goodness into the world. One without the other doesn’t work. So, if you’re struggling or if you’ve been blessed to overcome the struggle through patience, seek to help others. But, note: don’t exploit your own well-being in the promise and don’t use helping others as an excuse to ignore your personal struggles. Like everything in our religion, it’s a balancing act and requires purposefulness.
I know this is all easier said than done, but “with hardship comes ease,” another promise we’ll understand soon. Keep your duaas up and march on, soldier.
H. Al.
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