When I was in high school, I had gut-wrenching anxiety. I can remember waking up nauseous every single morning and being so ready for high school to be over. It suprises many when I say that I would rather go through my university years 4 times over than ever repeat high school (don’t get me wrong, the workload of college was way worse than high school).
Looking back, it’s amazing how alone I felt, when in reality, nearly every single person was experiencing the same emotions at varying degrees. When it comes to experiences like anxiety, we tend to isolate ourselves, ashamed to tell anyone or not even knowing where to begin to attack the monster. In feeling alone and as the anxiety waxed and waned and morphed into different types, I sought out coping mechanisms to help me get through the day/week/etc. High school anxiety was different than college anxiety was different than public speaking anxiety was different than self-reflection anxiety. And so, these different life hacks were adopted at different points in my life, alhamdulillah.
When I felt anxiety, sometimes low grade and other times severe, I sought out ease.
الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ - 13:28
"Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. 'Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest'." [13:28]
This verse solidified for me the necessity of adopting reminders of Allah and acts of His worship into my day to mitigate my anxiety. So what have those actions been for me? (Note: All these actions are nawafil. Please never neglect your fardh, no matter what headspace you’re in. That’s the trick of shaitan who hopes to send you into a cycle of neglect and guilt).
1. My tried and true practice which I adopted in high school was to make wudu every single morning bwhen I woke up, whether it was prayer time or not. Now, 9 years later, it’s a habit I can’t shake. There are ahadith recommending wudu when one is angry. I applied that same logic to anxiety. It gave me a routine, it gave me a goal to accomplish and, just like wudu does, it put barakah in all my actions until it was time to renew my wudu.
2. I can still remember the first time I memorized this duaa (in the photo at the beginning), but I’ll spare you the details. Some of the words in arabic, I’d never heard before so I was shocked how easily I memorized it. But that ease told me this would be a weapon I needed to hang on to. For those that don’t know, this is the duaa that Musa (AS) read before approaching Pharoah. There is also more to the duaa if you want to explore (from surat Taha, beginning verse 25). I read this duaa before any interview, exam or if I have to speak publicly. I’m stunned as the stutter and hesitation in my voice melts away and a newfound confidence in myself took flight, even if just for that hour. And if I did trip up on my words, I left knowing: I prayed, I spoke/tested to what I knew, and the rest is in God’s hand. That feeling is even more liberating than doing well.
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent.”
Source: Sunan Ibn Majah 4251
3. There came a time I realized that some of my anxiety was guilt-induced and often times it was subconscious. We know that the wrong we do are black spots in our heart. Note the following hadith.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, when the servant commits a sin a black spot appears upon his heart. If he abandons the sin, seeks forgiveness, and repents, then his heart will be polished. If he returns to the sin, the blackness will be increased until it overcomes his heart. It is the covering that Allah has mentioned: No, but on their hearts is a covering because of what they have earned.” (83:14) Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 3334
As the spots fester, our unease increases. So these are the principles we use to understand why tawbah (repentance) is so essential. I’ve likely said it in previous posts but we should say astaghfirAllah on the daily, both for the sins we know we’ve committed and for those who overlooked and sometimes forget. We’re all guilty of it, but how beautiful is it that A’Rahman gave us this window of opportunity. We should use it and have hope in His rahma. For me, that hope puts me in a good place mentally and helps me go about my day mindfully. My cover-all duaa is “Oh Allah, please forgive me for the sins I commit privately and publicly, knowingly and unknowingly, intentionally and unintentionally, the ones I’ve committed in the past, in the present and will commit in the future. “
These actions continue to be so important for me to feel better. So many Muslim mental health professionals I know have adopted regular Islamic practices to also promote a good headspace. In sha Allah you’re able to identify practices that work for you. If you’d like more posts on promoting healthy living/mental health, email me or comment below.
H. Al.
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