What is Ramadan dissonance? Well, it’s a phrase I just made up if you didn’t catch that. But we’ll define it as “the [sometimes] overwhelming feeling that we have not spiritually/emotionally grown as we imagine we would have during Ramadan.” Ramadan dissonance often emerges in comparison to previous Ramadans. It can also emerge for a new Muslim, or a not-as-practicing Muslim or a Muslim who is a lot more busy this Ramadan than last Ramadan (and doesn’t realize it).
So let’s talk really quickly about our month. Language is so important. It affects our world-views and our interactions with everyone and everything around as. So we ought to stop viewing Ramadan as separate or an outlier to our personal existences. What do I mean? Ramadan will come whether the people acknowledge it or not. So do you acknowledge it? Do you understand what this month is about? Is it YOUR Ramadan? Ramadan doesn’t happen to you, you happen to it. Are you following? When someone takes ownership of their school assignment or work project or a party, they get things DONE. Did you take ownership of your Ramadan yet?
So actions are by intentions, and if you’ve ever opened a hadith book, you’ll notice that’s always the first hadith mentioned. Why? Because everyone moment can be the start of something and every start in Islam must have an intention. So did you set your intention for Ramadan ever? Did you spend a single minute not just praying for what you want but praying for your Ramadan to be one that purifies you? That lifts you? That opens doors for you? No? Do it now. I’m serious, stop reading and do it now. Did you? Yes? Okay, so do you trust Allah? Do you not know that Allah is SO merciful that if you were to ask a single thing of Him He would grant it to you or better? So why would He not make this Ramadan transformative when you asked and when you want it? And then why are we dictating how He does it?
Let’s say you did but you still are experiencing Ramadan dissonance. Well, stop comparing this Ramadan to last Ramadan! Some will disagree adamantly with me stating “if you don’t compare, you’ll never improve.” I agree wholeheartedly but only for those that have the discipline and skill to improve every Ramadan. If moping about your 2018/1439 Ramadan is going to actually traumatize you (and I don’t use that word lightly), stop… comparing… yourself… to your previous Ramadan personas. You are setting yourself up for failure for following Ramadans and it becomes a spiritually ugly self-fulfilling prophecy. You are not the same person you were last year. Think of the transitions that have happened in your life from a new family, going to college, starting a new job, etc. Don’t you deserve to cut yourself a little bit of slack of a huge responsibility is taking up the time you used to have to previously worship? Don’t you understand that even the mundane and monotonous become worship with intention. So why should a new mom breastfeeding her child feel like a horrible Muslim because she can’t go to taraweeh anymore? Why can’t she feel like Allah gave her a new form of worship unique to her and her new role? Because we try to turn Muslim into a job description instead of understanding the Unique created us uniquely to worship, no matter our unique circumstances.
Okay, you’ve read through the part of this post that is meant to address the “dissonance” part of Ramadan dissonance. You should no longer be able to see your month as out of your ownership or choice because it is you who experiences your month. But while Islam is an awfully intellectual deen, it is not strictly intellectual. Ramadan the “actions are by intentions.” We talked about intentions but lets’ not forget the actions part. There are no cop-outs here.
There are some actions that are mostly unique to Ramadan and carry great blessing. Fasting, taraweeh, and suhoor for example. There are other actions not unique to Ramadan but carry greater emphasis per ahadith of the prophet Muhammad (saw) such as charity, reciting Quran and walking to the masjid. Then there are the everyday actions we do which are multiplied during our month. But here are our problems:
- We shame ourselves if we can’t make it to taraweeh every night or read a whole juz of Quran each day. Some people are just not there. Ask everyone what their Ramadan struggle is and you’ll see that even Muslims who ikhtim (read the entire Quran) may struggle with something you find super easy.
- We don’t adjust the worship to our circumstances. If you can’t make it to a masjid, pray taraweeh at home. Hold a mus-haf if you need to. Listen to Quran on your way to work or wherever you’re going. Be kinder. Hold the door. Do anything!!!
- We’re not charitable. Perhaps one of the most underrated concepts in Islam is barakah. It is this concept that if you are to give from your rizq (sustenance) at any time for the sake of Allah, Allah will multiply what you’ve given. So when you give money, you’ll get it back and it will help more people than originally expected. When you cook a meal for the sake of God, it will feed more people than expected. Your time will be more fruitful. So why don’t we take advantage of this. Give a dollar anywhere (and don’t play like you don’t have a dollar)! Check out Launchgood.com for so many opportunities for charity. Volunteer on your off hours or take your current volunteering time and renew your intentions for it. Help in the kitchen if you don’t already.
Ramadan Kareem
H. Al.
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